Sticky baby has gone luminous

Hey all. For those of you who don't know, I have merged my Sticky Baby blog into my regular blog, Luminous Multitudes. You can visit it here - www.luminousmultitudes.blogspot.com

In an assessment that makes me despair for my ability to handle something as complex as parenthood, I have decided that having more than one blog is just too much work. Anyway, reader beware as LM also contains much feminist ranting and swearing. On the plus side however, it also contains many pictures of Buddy.

See you there!

Seven weeks, six days and counting

We had our first ultrasound yesterday - yeah! As some of you may know, I was very anxious leading up to this ultrasound. Having read too many websites, I was nervous that all kinds of things might go wrong - no baby, no heartbeat etc. But there was a baby and a heartbeat! Yeah! It was a bit of an ordeal getting to the appointment as we had received confusing directions plus, since I couldn't pee for a couple of hours before the exam, I had to pee really really bad and all the walking around was hellish. But we finally got registered and signed in and they were even able to take us in 20 minutes early, which was a gift to my bladder. The technician's name was also Erin and she had Mark come in at the end and showed us our baby on the screen and showed us the little heartbeat which was easy to see. And only one!! I guess there could still be a twin hiding directly behind the first baby but all signs point to one baby, which is awesome, given the family history of twins.

Anyway, no photo from this one. There wasn't anything to see. It was literally a big black blob (yolk sac) with a small grey blob (baby) inside. The only thing of note was the heartbeat and that doesn't show up in a photo. Anyway, I have another appt scheduled in a few weeks and the technician thought there might actually be something to see at that point.

I also had my first visit with my midwives. The jury is still out on that one, I'm just not sure yet.
Anyway, that's the news!

They're not kidding about first trimester fatigue

So in the last week, first trimester fatigue has fully hit me. Left to my own devices on Saturday afternoon I took a two hour nap and woke up feeling every bit as tired as when I went to sleep. Last Thursday I went to the grocery store at 1 in the afternoon and almost started crying because I felt so overwhelmed by trying to figure out what I needed to be eating plus I was so tired I could hardly stand. Today I was at my internship and got really tired around 2:30. By 4:00 I laid my head on my desk to rest but it wasn't good enough. I had this overwhelming feeling of needing to lie down. So I did. I took my coat and bunched it up into a ball for a pillow and laid on the floor of my office and slept for 30 minutes. The floor of my office is not nice. It is hard floor with a thin thin layer of industrial carpet with god only knows how much dirt ground in. But I didn't care. I just had to lie down. I'm just glad I don't office share anymore - that would be embarrassing! :)

Testing, testing

Well, my doctor called today to give me my first ultrasound appointment in two weeks! This one is typically done between 8-10 weeks and is used to date the pregnancy. My doctor insists on using the old "first day of your last period" approach to dating my pregnancy, which assumes a 28 day cycle. I do not have a 28 day cycle, I have a very irregular cycle and I think she is overestimating my baby's age by about 9 days so I will be very glad to get an accurate age. Plus, at this ultrasound, even with the miscalculation in age, we should see the baby's heartbeat. After you find the heartbeat, miscarriage rate drops to 2% so it's a very big deal.

In four weeks I have a second ultrasound and series of blood tests that are a first screening for genetic disorders and birth defects, things like down syndrome and spina bifida. These tests aren't diagnostic, they just tell you risk factors. If they come back negative, chances are very good your baby will be healthy and normal, if they come back positive, you get to do lots more testing. Pretty nervewracking but I'm hoping that I'll get a big old negative and be able to relax a little about my baby's well-being.

Tomorrow I go in for my first blood work - checking that my old vaccines are still active and that I'm not anemic, that sort of thing. Since we did all of it several months ago as part of my preconception check up, this one should come back just fine.

In the meantime, while I continue to be fortunate enough to evade morning sickness, first trimester fatigue is starting to hit. Between 1-3 pm, usually my best time of day, I am dead tired. Early evening, also often one of my better times, is also getting dicey. Just walking home from the subway is starting to seem difficult after a long day. Plus I'm getting pregnancy nose - heightened sense of smell. My honey scented shampoo is suddenly sickeningly sweet and strong. But hey, as long as I'm not vomiting or having pregnancy migraines, I'm not going to complain!

The Big Announcement

***********************************************************************************




So for those of you who don't know (although I don't know how you would have found your way to this blog if you don't), Mark and I are pregnant! Yeah for us! We are only very early in the pregnancy, five weeks and a few days, but somehow the word seems to be out - possibly due to my father's excitement but I can't say that I tried very hard to keep him quiet. Anyway, this seemed like the easiest way to keep everyone in the loop.

We don't have an exact due date but it's somewhere around the end of October. My fertility tracker said Oct 29th but I'm vibing on the 28th. If the baby is early, it could be born on Mark's birthday (Oct 25) and if it's late, it could be born on Halloween. October is my very favourite month - we have several family birthdays (including Buddy's), our wedding anniversary, thanksgiving, and Halloween, my all-time favourite holiday. So it's a very fortuitous month for our baby to be born.

We won't know the gender for another 15 weeks or so and even then only if the baby's facing the right way in the ultrasound but we will find out and we will let everyone know. Right now Mark and I are both feeling a bit like it's a boy but we have no really strong feelings, so who knows? The idea of a boy is kind of freaking me out. I come from a family of girls, most of my friends are girls, I work with all women. I just don't know what to do with a boy! But my husband, my dad, and my dog are all great boys so I'm sure my son will be too! :)

This far in I've had very few symptoms and am hoping to be lucky enough to escape morning sickness like my mom did. For the first week that we knew (week 4) I did have lots of cramping on my left side and was in a panic, fearing ectopic pregnancy, but apparently it's very normal and due to the corpus luteum cyst that forms after ovulation. Then over the weekend I had a racing heartrate that was causing me anxiety (which of course did nothing to help my heartrate) but that seems to have settle down (knock on wood). In fact, today I feel exactly like I always do, which makes the whole pregnancy thing seem a little unreal.

Last week I was out in High Park and it was a beautiful sunny day so I decided to go walk the labyrinth. The labyrinth in the park is a traditional mandala painted on concrete - nothing terribly exciting, but I like to walk it and mull things over now and then. So I tied Buddy up nearby and walked the labyrinth. I thought of all the things I wish for for our baby and all the things I wish for for myself as a mother. When I was done, huge fat snowflakes started falling even though the sun was shining bright and the sky was blue. The snowflakes were so big and white and they seemed like little bits of love and assurance falling from the heavens. It was a pretty magical moment that made me feel hopeful for this pregnancy and for our life as a family.